Sleep Less. Drink More.

Help Fight Bibliomnia: A Man's Quest to Save Magazines

2009-03-30T08:15:00.003-05:00

Since I have done my part to save the automobile industry by buying an imported car, I am now moving on to save the disintegrating print industry. As a former student of journalism, I have a strong allegiance to the journalists who have made it. After graduation, I gave the job hunt the 'ole college try to find a job in the media, but the editors didn't want any of this. My duties were needed elsewhere.

Nevertheless, I have put my grudges aside and have decided to do my part as a college-educated, literate man to (orchestral fanfare) SAVE THE PUBLISHING INDUSTRY.

Last week, the first phase began. A crisp issue of The New Yorker had arrived in the post addressed to me. Previously, I'd been doing the "poor man" subscription. I'd visit the library and check out the previous week's issue or the most current in the bin, or if that wasn't available I'd settle for Newsweek, or Economist.

No more wrinkled copies. No more stale current events. It was awkward when I'd bring up topics at work that happened a week or months ago.

"So, you see Obama was elected?" I'd posit.
"Yeah. Two months ago," they'd snidely retort.

Never again.

To round out my Yuppie starter kit, an issue of Atlantic Monthly arrived on Friday. If only I'd bought a Prius, I could be a full member of the Elite literati. Alas, my sedan need not be plugged in or rely on battery juice. Instead I'm just a regular lackluster card-carrying member. The Elites get the fancy laminated card, so I hear. Someday...

These new subscriptions are presenting a problem already. I am subscribed to Wired and Interview, which come monthly. Due to my self-diagnosed disease of Bibliomnia, falling asleep shortly after reading, these magazines challenge me to overcome my illness. This condition haunted my college years, especially with dry history texts, but I'm intent on beating it. Be sure to walk for the cure (mild uppers) this summer. Fight Bibliomnia!

I don't think I've ever successfully completed an issue of The New Yorker, either for lack of interest in some stories or the utter sense of futility to finish a longer article with my "condition." Thank the publishing gods there aren't jumps.

This weekend I put the push on to get through it. "You can do it," I said to myself, another sign of the intelligentsia and schizophrenics--we aren't that different. Breezing through Woody Allen's and David Sedaris' articles I was in good shape. Over lunch I tackled the article on prison reform and thought to myself that I should write my congress person about it. No time though. I have to finish.

When I started to feel my eyelids getting heavy during the article about the Chairlady of China's paper plant, I got up and did some exercise. Strong mind, strong body. Sadly, there were still three more pages. I'll have to finish that one tomorrow. If only I could read while driving.

Atlantic is playing the part of forgotten middle child right now. I looked at the lineup of articles and shortly thereafter closed it. I have a month. It can happen. I can just replace a social life with reading. No big deal.

With the Tribune three days a week and Google Reader news feeds, I'm striving for being the best informed in the office. With "did you see that article in this week's New Yorker" serving as my entre to the Elite, I can assert my literacy among coworkers. I may not have time to work and unemployment will give me adequate time to read, but I will beat this disease.

Does anyone else get the impression that reading the paper or a magazine at your desk is worse than reading news online? I feel this stigma toward reading something other than my 1024 x 780 screen.

If you haven't been inspired already, go subscribe to a magazine or two. Do it for the kids.

Note: For those who wish to look literate without all the fuss, all it takes is an issue here or there on the desk. The key to look like you can read is to crease up the issue. Make some marks in the margin. It can be gibberish. No one will look that closely. Fold over a few pages and you're set.

A Bloated Wallet in this Economy

2009-03-01T18:40:00.000-06:00

It's inevitable. Pretty soon, I'll have to buckle down and get a murse.

No, it isn't that I'm making that much money in my new job. It's the influx of cards I've received because of said métier.

Each week I get a new card in the mail. It started slowly with the ID card for work and the health insurance cards, one for medical the other for dental. Pretty standard. The following week yet another letter came in the post. This time it was a prescription drug card. Clearly not finished commandeering control of my wallet, I received a card for my flex spending account from the greedy-for-wallet-space insurance company.

There are only so many slots in my wallet. Most were already snuggly filled before taking on this job and its accompanying legion of plastic.

You can learn a lot about someone based on what they keep in their wallet. Probably more so based on what someone keeps in their purse, especially so if it's a man with a purse.

My wallet is robustly filled, but not to the point of overflowing or not being able to close. There are the bank cards; four total--2 credit, 2 debit. It's all about balance. Then the requisite driver's license is shrouded behind plastic in a hole barely big enough to hold it or enable me to get it out with any level of ease. My car insurance card, flimsy but it still takes up space.

In the middle I keep some business cards in the event I run into a cute girl who has neither a phone nor a pen to take down my number. (A guy can dream.)

The plastic sleeves intended for pictures house a decade old picture of my sister, a ticket stub from a Cubs/Diamondbacks game I went to several years ago and the third picture slot holds dust. I'd like to think I'm saving this spot for a girlfriend's picture, but based on recent endeavors in online dating, it may continue to be my dust receptacle.

Attention identity thieves and muggers: Since I carry so many insurance cards and outdated crap, I don't have the strength to carry any tangible form of money. You'll be lucky to find more than three dollars in my wallet at a given time. Currently, there is $0 and a receipt from getting my hair cut. So, if you want a dollar off your next trim, by all means take my wallet. Otherwise, you just inherited back problems. Joke's on you sucker.

Haikus for Online Love

2009-02-24T21:27:00.000-06:00

Girls of match dot com:
Lascivious pics I sent,
Respond you did not.

I've winked. I've wooed. In the end I boohooed. Thirty emails have been sent, but only one response. The only interpretation is to take this personally. After a less than successful Valentine's night in Wrigleyville--the highlight being a young woman passing out while talking (more like slurring) to me, I swore off the bar scene and decided to try the online harem that is Match.

After being bombarded with emails that my love is waiting for me, I started a three day trial. I returned the favor to the "millions" of users on the site by sending snappy emails. The hours of day two are waning and I have not found my love nor an interested party. Viewing the profile and text boxes as chances to share who I am--I left out the part about living at home and only being on there for the trial--I've gone through three iterations of a bio. All riveting. All unique. None garnering admiration or beatnik snaps.

I've tried minimalism, humor and brutal honesty. Subsequently, I give up. I've always heard you find someone when you stop looking. After covert dating cessations, this break might be real.

Online love I sought
Unanswered prose in outbox
Back to junior high.

I Don't Want an Office Ass

2009-02-24T13:54:00.000-06:00

I'm fearful.

A cursory glance around this megalithic office and I am confronted with super-sized proportions. In terms of fruit, those waddling around in the lunch room resemble what some might endearingly call the pear shape.

Yes, I did watch the episode of Oprah where she discussed dressing for your shape.

Being a young male with the blessing of an Italian metabolism, my shape best resembles a zucchini, if the sides had all been run through a mandolin.

Despite the incentive of a monetary discount to join the gym, I have yet to enroll. In my six weeks here, I’ve succumbed to peer pressure. I am militant about packing a lunch in the morning, but when asked if I want to go out to lunch, my stomach and mouth say yes. Already labeled “cheap” by my coworkers, I don’t want to appear anti-social or stingy, so I have gone out a bit more often than I budgeted. Despite claiming the frugality defense, I was deemed cheap after affirmatively answering a question about the reuse of plastic lunch bags.

If the gym option weren’t enough to combat obesity, there’s also a Get Fit campaign for the next month trying to get people moving whether it’s walking, running or cycling. It’s a good start, but I think if they would just unchain me from my cubicle, it would prevent developing a monster pear ass.

For Kristy

2009-02-20T14:12:00.000-06:00

Theme song for Mini Kristy?

Forgive Me Padre

2009-02-18T15:44:00.000-06:00

As we prepare for the Lenten season, the Catholic Church released the results of a recent study.

A Catholic survey found that the most common sin for women was pride, while for men, the urge for food was only surpassed by the urge for sex.

The report was based on a study of confessions carried out by Fr Roberto Busa, a 95-year-old Jesuit scholar.

Also mentioned in the article was the protocol for going to confession (you should go annually) and the 7 MODERN sins, opposed to the old, mortal sins that are a one-way ticket to the inferno.

The big shocker was that people have stopped going to confession. So, to recap, in addition to a drop in church attendance, congregants are increasingly ambivalent about not going. How does the Church combat this? By creating new sins. Brilliant.

A recent survey of Catholics found nearly a third no longer considered confession necessary, while one in 10 considered the process an obstacle to their dialogue with God.

TOP DEADLY SINS FOR MEN
Lust
Gluttony
Sloth

TOP DEADLY SINS FOR WOMEN
Pride
Envy
Anger

I'm not really sure what slothing is, but I'll look it up later.

The British are Coming!

2009-01-25T20:57:00.000-06:00

Questions are opportunities. Every time someone asks me a question there are two answers: the serious and the farcical. More often than not I provide a sardonic retort to the posed question.

It was with great difficulty that I resisted the urge to answer the innocuous request to "Briefly describe yourself" for my companies weekly digest. Being on of the new hires, the communications director emailed me for some info. While I decided it would be best to play it straight, since my employer isn't a comedy venue, part of me still wishes I went with this:

Andrew was raised by a pack of wild hyenas. This upbringing has left him vulnerable to the sounds of laughter since he never learned to make the distinction between people laughing with him and at him. After the State intervened and separated him from his surrogate parents, he was thrown into a rapid immersion program and forced to abandon his native tongue. He still prefers a cave or open prairie to a cubicle, but it is an ongoing struggle. When dining out, he prefers his steaks rare and doesn't like cutlery. In his spare time, he likes chasing things and cleaning himself with his tongue. Plus, he's single.

In other news, work is going fine. I received my first strike for listening to music and not hearing my boss when he summoned me. The office policy is to write the song and artist on the board for the offense in question. Of course Pandora had to have an uber feminine song on: Title: "A Boy Like You." Despite clamoring that she wrote the song explicitly for me, my coworkers were not impressed. So much for claiming my devotion to jazz.

I have graduated the training program and have started writing real copy for real clients. Thus far, my filler content for the email bulletins has done quite well. On Friday, my three fillers each garnered about 200 clicks. My coworker/competition's fillers averaged about 40-50. I made sure to alert my boss of the victory.

Taking full advantage of my insurance, I went to the dentist during my lunch on Thursday. Fearful at the prospect of a stranger with a drill inside my mouth, I nervously waiting for my check-up. With great pleasure, I discovered that aside from my wisdom tooth with a cavity there were no other flagrant offenses. I think the dentist was disappointed. I asked how things were other than the wisdom teeth. He didn't want to admit it. He whimpered "fine." But I will need to have my wisdom teeth out. What joy.

In regard to the wisdom tooth with a cavity, he commented, "That's a ticking time bomb."

I replied, "So THAT's what that noise was."

He was not amused.

Next week, one of my coworkers returns from her business trip to the UK. I've asked when it's my turn to cross the pond. One of the managers from the home base will be joining us this week.

I've started exclaiming, "THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"

Week One Report

2009-01-11T10:06:00.001-06:00

No one ever told me work would be tiring. After all the glamorization of work from Disney movies, Office Space and TV shows like Murphy Brown, The Office and Cheers, I was prepared for a land of milk and honey. Thankfully, it isn't like the failed Fred Savage show Working.

The week started ominously with the miscommunication regarding my first day. After a prototypical night-before-a-new-job night's sleep, I went through my morning work routine then hit the roads. Arriving early, I was greeted by the receptionist, who was confused about my attendance. Turns out there was an error in my offer letter. My boss had told me Tuesday would be my first day, but the letter from HR informed me that I should show up Monday. My boss was right and HR was wrong. After a quick chat with my boss, it was back on the roads for home. The extra day provided me the chance to setup a new bank account and get insurance squared away on my new ride.

My second first day proved more standard. I met with HR and discussed the benefits available, which is pretty exciting. After an apology about the first day debacle, I asked "I still get paid for Monday, right?" The office does take Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in case you wondered.

The balance of the day and the week was spent training with my coworkers. I have a pretty firm grasp on the role I'll play and what they strive for. Next week will be my final week of training before I am let loose on the world to write captivating copy and impress clients everywhere. Look out world.

Odd things about working:
-Being followed into the Mens room. I've been followed in there twice. Both times I ended up washing my hands and trying to chat while darting my eyes all around the small room avoiding eye contact. Seriously, where am I supposed to look? Come on now. I appreciate my coworkers making an effort to get to know me, but is the Mens room the proper place for women?
-The setup of this office is a bit peculiar. Taking its queue from interior design shows on HGTV, they went for an open floor plan. Avoiding the stigma of cubicle land, they opted for half cubicles so you can see everyone and subsequently they can see you. It's nice in a way, but the majority of people in the office are sales folk who are always on the phone pursuing clients.
-De facto segregation in the cafeteria.
-A tale of two parking lots. There is an upper lot that is much closer to the entrance and a lower lot that has a gate. If you want to park closer you need to get to work earlier. This incentive and competition for 30 spots is a source of office conversation. After reading a few Econ books, the Elite lot as I'm dubbing it, encourages people to get to work early, while also making those who arrive later feel less of themselves. Well played.
-Casual dress. Once again, to the chagrin of my sister, I have landed a job with a very "relaxed" dress code. Office attire includes jeans and t-shirts.
-Inter-Office politics-The company I work for is part of a bigger company that occupies 95% of the huge building. There is some animosity toward my company for its casual dress. This acrimony is taken out on the field during the summer when they play Wiffle ball. I've been warned.
-Computer restrictions-I've dealt with this before, but it's the bane of my existence. Is iTunes really going to bring the company down? I need my Grammar Girl and The Bugle podcasts.
-Last but not least, learning to speak proper English. A few of my coworkers are from the UK. Therefore, I am on the accelerated course to learning to speak British. There's another bullet point on my resume. I plan on keeping a log of new words I come across. Last week I learned naffe (corny), no worries mate (I knew this one), brilliant and cheers. There were others but I neglected to write them down.

Late last week I learned the master plan for my role. I'll be doing copy writing and split the account management roles with one of the people on the creative team. Yeah responsibility!

I'll do better next week, if they let me in.

The BEAST: In Memoriam

2009-01-03T18:04:00.000-06:00

The BEAST served its purpose and is now destined for the nearest chop shop where it will either be melted for low grade metal or violently dissembled. I had the beast for nearly four years and am happy to see it go. We did have our fun times together like when it overheated in the rain, the times it wouldn't start in the cold, the time it destroyed a new Honda Civic's rear in Huntley, the joy rides, the rides to the mechanic (these exceeded the joy rides), shuttling dates back to their dorms, impressing said dates with the "classic" nature of the beast. Oh memories.

I present a look back at what can only be described as The Beast

Suggested accompaniment:

or

Hello Paycheck

2008-12-12T07:57:00.001-06:00

It's official. After nearly a year and a half (and 109 blog posts) toiling at internships and scouring classifieds, I have landed a permanent position. Put simply: I GOT A JOB!

I will start in January and will be part of the creative team. My duties will include copywriting, design and media planning. There is talk that I'll have these things called "benefits."

This blog was started as a way to keep sane while looking for a job. I had no inkling that the hunt would take this long, but am relieved it is over. Now, as I assemble my wish list of consumer goods to purchase (a car is high on the list), I renounce my monastic, frugal ways.

To those still fighting the good fight:

Network--even if it doesn't lead to a job, it helps to have people to converse with and get advice from. Having a strong social network consisting of friends and family, as well as alumni helps support you and prevent you from hitting the bottom of the pool. Also, don't be afraid to reach out to alumni. You will be surprised at how many people are willing to offer you their advice and share their path to their current job.

Setup search agents to do the work for you. I used indeed.com, which searches several sites.

Find a way to be creative. For me, this blog served as a forum to write about the news and the plight of the recent graduate.

Volunteer--Whenever you feel that your life is horrible, you need to realize that it is always worse for someone else. Volunteering enables you to get out of the house and give some of your time to help others. An added bonus is you may make some connections.

Faith--Probably the biggest thing that got me through this period beside my mom and sister was having faith that I would end up wherever I was meant to be. Pouring on the prayers didn't hurt either.

I will continue to post about stories that catch my eye and working always provides stories. Thanks for reading.

If really bored

2008-12-03T22:39:00.002-06:00

For the Obama obsessed, your very own Obama game.

Gobble Gobble

2008-11-26T21:25:00.002-06:00

To everyone and their families:
Have a wonderful Turkey day. Or Tofurkey Day if that floats your gravy boat.
-Andrew

P.S. Feel free to post your holiday traditions. Mine starts and ends with gluttony.

Crafty Bastards

2008-11-26T21:24:00.000-06:00

As an added motivation to find employment, I swore off using Facebook. (Sadly it has been replaced with online dating sites.) My logic was based in the fact that Facebook is especially depressing after you graduate. Pictures of parties you weren't at, notifications of who's now single and the always inspiring wall posts with the insipid LOL. It has been two weeks since I last touched the sweet nectar. And then tonight, I got this email:

Unfortunately, the settings that control which email notifications get sent to you were lost. We're sorry for the inconvenience.

To reset your email notification settings, go to:

http://www.facebook.com/editaccount.php?notifications

Thanks,
The Facebook Team

Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in. Lost? Really? You lost my settings. I expected more from you Mark Zuckerberg.

I am staying strong. The next step is removing the bookmark.

I'm also working on a video to combat the other posts on Facebook. It'll be huge if I actually make it.

Tentative title: F Facebook.

Memories

2008-11-21T12:12:00.002-06:00

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Shit Pit

2008-11-21T12:03:00.000-06:00

I will be using "Shit Pit" for the next week. Start your watches....Now.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

'Tis the Season for Pardons

2008-11-21T11:55:00.002-06:00

As President Bush's tenure draws to a close, the requests for pardons and clemency start trickling into the White House.

Today, Conrad Black's lawyers submitted legal papers to President Bush seeking clemency for his conviction for defrauding shareholders of Hollinger International. He was sentenced to six and a half years.

Dick Cheney was indicted Tuesday for "conspiring to block an investigation into abuse at privately run prisons."

I think I know what Cheney will be getting for Christmas.

Scratch-N-Sniff

2008-11-21T11:43:00.001-06:00

For all of you who cuddle up to your favorite celebs glossy image in your favorite rag mag you will be delighted by this story. The next issue of People is reported to contain a Scratch-N-Sniff section with the preferred smells of the magazine's sexiest people. So now you can not only snuggle up to their smooth image, you can tickle them! It's like they are in the room with you.

This is the latest development in the sensory marketing world.

Usually I relish the crispness of getting the latest issue of a magazine in my mailbox--unless the mailman decided to take a cursory glance during his lunch break in his clown car.

I don't mind the amalgamation of numerous scents in my magazines, which form some sort of meta cologne, but I'm not sure I like the trajectory of this trend. Just think, soon there could be before-and-after ads for deodorant.

Murdoch Boyer Lecture: The Golden Age of Freedom

2008-11-14T10:55:00.001-06:00

Rupert Murdoch gives the first in a series of lectures on Australia and the future of journalism.

Everlasting Moments

2008-10-21T23:00:00.004-05:00

"That which we cannot forget" is how Swedish Director Jan Troell translated Everlasting Moments/Maria Larssons eviga ögonblick, the title of his film that is entered in the main competition for the Chicago International Film Festival.

Foreign films often provide an unrivaled depth in the characters they introduce to us. Troell intersperses brief scenes with film stocks that lend a gritty, authentic feel to the life of Maria Larssons (Maria Heiskanen). The director was present along with about 50 attendees for the Tuesday afternoon screening of his film at the AMC on 600 N. Michigan Ave.

The story is based on the real life of Maria Larssons. Troell's wife met the Larssons' daughter and recorded their conversations during the last six years of Larssons' life. Troell turned those tapes into the book of the same name, which has yet to be translated into English and unlikely will be.

Set in the early 1900s, the film starts with credits over images of vintage cameras. We learn through a voice-over that Maria won a camera at a fair, but the man she was with bought the winning ticket. He insists the only way that she will get the camera is if she married him. So begins Maria's life with Sigfrid (Mikael Persbrandt).

While the pacing and story development are much more lethargic than American cinema, we eventually learn of the abusive and alcoholic ways of Sigfrid. With an ever-growing family, Maria comes across the camera from the fair in the bottom of a dresser. Desperately in need of money, Maria attempts to pawn the camera. In the process, she meets the gentle store owner Mr. Petersson (Jesper Christensen), who encourages her to take a few photos before selling the camera. Arranging her children in their cramped living area, Maria snaps her first photo of her children.

The film continues to follow Maria and her family as she turns increasingly to the solace provided by her camera. Everlasting Moments diverges from the predictable cinematic addiction to the Hollywood narrative and ending. She often is subtly presented with choices that would allow her to rid herself of her abusive husband and her negotiating those decisions provides complexity. Maria constantly grapples with her pride and independence. Instead of everything being neatly wrapped-up in 90 minutes, Moments (125 minutes) lingers with characters allowing for more development and depth, subsequently creating more empathy and attachment to Maria and her children. Despite Sigfrid's philandering and repeated abusive rampages toward Maria, at times eliciting gasps and winces from the audience, he is shown with some tenderness toward the end of the film.

In the post-film discussion Troell responded to a question regarding shots of a butterfly, which are present near the beginning and very end of the feature. He acknowledged the symbolism of the fluttering insect that is finally free at the end and mentioned his previous use of the bug in another film, Il Capitano. When he was working on this film, he noticed a dead butterfly in the window of the factory where he was shooting. Even though this image was not in the script or planning, Troell got a shot of the dead butterfly as it perfectly illustrated the potential future of the young boy in the film had he never left the factory.

Troell also mentioned the difference between making a film in Sweden and in the U.S. to the few dozen that remained after the screening. "Here you have maybe 100 people behind the camera. If I make a film in Sweden there's maybe 20, at most."

Like many foreign films that expose life through a different lens, Everlasting Moments/Maria Larssons eviga ögonblick lingers long after the final credits and is a difficult film to forget.

The film festival runs through Oct. 29 and I have a large list of films to see including several from France.

That's Debatable

2008-10-15T20:18:00.003-05:00

Hey everyone. If you happen to be online and watching the debate post your comments here. I'd say I'll live blog it but I'm rather certain I'll get tired of the politi-speak.

Initial question- Was the seated format chosen to prevent McCain from roaming around the stage again?

Tropfest NY 2008 winner, "Mankind Is No Island" by Jason van Genderen

2008-10-13T11:49:00.001-05:00

A Marathoner's Notes

2008-10-12T22:35:00.000-05:00

"I'm hoping to meet some ladies during the Chicago Marathon on Sunday."

"But they'll all be running away from you," my mom replied.

"And that's different how?"

I have heard from some female runners I know that when they need that extra motivation during runs, when they just want to quit, they envision that I'm chasing behind them asking if they are free this weekend.

With that encouragement, I woke before the sun to take the blue line into the city on a Sunday, which doesn't sound very appealing. But the annual Chicago Marathon proved too alluring. As someone who has never run a complete mile, I can't fathom the appeal of running 26.2. The Young Alumni Club organized a group of volunteers to work the finish line and I gladly seized the opportunity to see the masochistic saga first-hand.

After a fair amount of wandering looking for the volunteer tent and my group I finally found my posse.

Among my recollections and lessons from this day:

Possibly one of the most rewarding moments came when I spotted two Aussies crossing the finish line. My duty was to provide cool, wet towels to runners to aid them in the cool down process from the atypically warm Fall day (low 80s). As soon as I spotted my soon-to-be fellow mates I hustled over to them and gave them towels. I detected an awesome accent when they thanked me and decided now wouldn't be the best time to discuss my plans to come down under next year.

The easiest way to boost self-esteem is to volunteer. I had people praise me for giving out towels and thank me for helping. Being appreciated fuels the soul. Some called me "God-send," I said "No, my name is Andrew." Others asked for God to bless me. I'll take it.

Running a marathon is a religious experience. Apparently atheists don't run marathons because everyone seemed to be praising the man upstairs or the divine blessing of cold towels.

Marathons discriminate against the obese.

At least 45,000 people are more fit than me.

Never underestimate the power of a hose.

Yes, you can get a sunburn in October.

Marathons aren't pleasurable. I saw very few people with smiles at the finish line.

Finally, marathons aren't motivational. Today only confirmed my policy on mobility. There are certain things the human body was not designed for. Running 26.2 miles is one of them. My firm belief is that there are better transportation options for distances greater than half a mile. I will gladly walk distances less than 2 miles. I will bike distances between 2 and 6 miles. For everything else there is the automobile and public transit.

The only digits I got today were those on the bibs of the runners.

Welcome to the Waiting Room

2008-10-09T21:51:00.001-05:00

Next week my Fulbright application will be on its way to New York to be evaluated. For those that don't know, my proposal focuses on the role of community media in a media landscape predominantly owned by a few conglomerates. I strongly believe this ownership model of many outlets being controlled by a few players is the future of American media.

If selected, I would depart next July to spend a year abroad studying at the University of Sydney. Through the power of the internet I have established connections with professors and community media organizers in Sydney.

This truly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity would allow me to grow as a media scholar and researcher while going abroad for the first time. The first cuts of Fulbright applicants will be made in January and final decisions will be made in March/April.

Coincidentally, Australia recently launched their new tourism campaign. They don't need to convince this ozzie at heart.

I can't wait for my walkabout.

Whiteboarding

2008-10-01T14:17:00.002-05:00

The lunchroom at the office has an erasable white board, which often has probing questions like "Favorite Full House character?" and "Best Memory from the '80s." Being the dutiful and diligent worker I am, I recently scribed this question on the board:

Most important lesson from Kindergarten?

The responses:

* Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. (This person is clearly a product of the Catholic school system).
* Don't eat glue. (It's an acquired taste.)
* Don't run after boys. Let them run after you. (Is power-walking acceptable?)
* Mrs. Adelman doesn't like me. (Sadness.)
* Guinea pigs will die if you drop them. (2 out of 3)
* Wash your hands before you eat. (Over-rated.)
* Be nice.
* Never, ever, forget $.35 for a Jell-O pudding pop.

I learned that I'm, according to Mrs. Smith, dyslexic. She was wrong.

To answer honestly, thanks to P.J., I learned to tie my shoes, a skill that has served me well every day.

What is the most important lesson you learned in Kindergarten?

Chi-Town

2008-10-01T07:46:00.001-05:00

Pictures from 9/30. Cubs rally in Daley Plaza and shots from the walk home.

In case you missed it

2008-09-25T20:35:00.001-05:00

Watch CBS Videos Online

On the upside, Palin knows basic geography. Russia IS next to Alaska. As is Canada. Well done!

It's Not You. It's My Genes.

2008-09-17T12:05:00.004-05:00

Swedish researchers have discovered that there is a gene that affects a man's "monogability" (my word, not theirs).

The Week provides brief synops from editorials/opinions in The Times, both New York and London, and the Baltimore Sun

I just envision all the future conversations.

-"Honey, would you stick this Q-Tip in your mouth?"
-"I do love you dear, but my genes have made me a skirt-chaser. Don't take it personally."

Maybe future research should be done to explore why women ARE monogamous. Just a thought.

Does that come in anything besides 1T?

2008-09-16T20:59:00.002-05:00

First go here. I'll wait...

I want his outfit. His shoes are off the heezie.

SNL is Back

2008-09-16T13:13:00.001-05:00

Loading up for the election.

Zoot Suit Riot - The Distracted and Silent Press

2008-09-07T16:28:00.007-05:00

t r u t h o u t | St. Paul's Police Protest the Press

Source: www.truthout.org

Police in full riot gear arrest protesters, and members of the press, at the GOP convention in St. Paul. (Photo: Reuters)

Arrests were made of journalists and the protesters they were covering at both political conventions these past two weeks, but as Michael Winship of PBS' Bill Moyers Journal writes here, only the St. Paul police actually targeted the journalists, from a wide variety of news outlets and political leanings, both before and during the large events.
This premeditated and concerted effort at stifling wide and more complete coverage of events of national and public significance, especially through physical abuse and arrest, is an abomination, as well as being illegal and unconstitutional.

Why is this abuse and arrest of journalists not being covered by any mainstream media? This is news and journalists should be making it known - such abuse affects all of us, not just those who dare to have the guts and chops to shine a light on it. When there is corruption, we're supposed to follow it, not run away... It's like being a tornado chaser. We're not wishing for it to happen, but if it's there, it's there.

In a world where federal governance and law enforcement are relied upon with increasing frequency and without regulation and checks of power, how can we possibly expect to extricate ourselves from partisan politics if we cannot even recognize our responsibility to society and fulfill our duty to question authority's restraints over discourse and information?

Is A Gift A Gift Without The Effort?

2008-09-07T16:17:00.002-05:00

Facebook’s virtual gifts may make more than $40 million this year » VentureBeat

Source: venturebeat.com

Are virtual gifts replacing life-size ones? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? It certainly saves on clutter and hey, it's the thought that counts for some people, right? Plus, it leaves less mess and can be shown off to more people in more places wherever they are. ... And I guess flowers last longer this way.
But ultimately, as lucrative as it is, it seems to me more an alternative or additional gift option than a replacement one. I'm pretty sure that most people still prefer the enjoyment of ripping wrapping paper to shreds and excitedly tossing tissue paper in the air to end the suspense of best-gift-ever or gag-gift-extraordinaire.
There's nothing like flaunting that great gift in other people's faces, right? ... Oh, just me?** Oh well.

** (just kidding)

McCain's Motivation

2008-08-30T22:25:00.002-05:00

Humorous.

There is also a good analysis of campaign ads here.

My observation was how Obama is in front of Biden, while McCain and Palin are seemingly equals.

The Intangibles

2008-08-27T21:36:00.000-05:00

I should have known when I was asked my height and how much I could bench press that my real title would be "office muscle," not marketing project intern.

There are certain things that cannot be conveyed on a resume like body measurements, ability to boost office morale or to think quickly and solve problems. In my first two days interning I believe I have given a glimpse of my potential for greatness.
First, however, we'll need to discard the story of how I jammed the copier in my first hours on the job. Sabotage?

My fringe skill set that can't be conveyed on card stock was first displayed when I was asked to grab a binder from a high shelf. This is nothing new for me as honorary member of the Cincinnati Shrine Circus. At least once a month some hag, I mean sweet old lady who confused moth balls for perfume, asks me to get her the jar of pickles on the top shelf at the grocery. I love pickles as much as the next guy, but do the geriatrics think this preserved cucumber has magical properties?

My other strong showing came yesterday with the shuttling of several heavy boxes filled with festival guides. The boxes needed to be sent to various arts outlets in the city. A glut of the boxes were in the conference room and needed to be in the vicinity of the reception area for the messenger service. After lifting two heavy boxes, I used my brain.

I loaded a wheeled chair with three boxes and slid the chair to the front. Brains over brawn. Every day. This saved not only time but precious back muscles. While I do trust that my pilates regimen has been doing wonders to strengthen my lower back, I save all the energy I can. I also saved the company from potential workman comp claims for physical therapy which could have reached tens of dollars.

So, future employers (whoever you might be), when you hire me and give me the sweet corner office and keys to the corporate bathroom remember that you are getting more than a sometimes hard worker with diverse experience, and more than the experience listed on my resume. You are getting all the intangibles.

So we meet again quasi-employment

2008-08-24T22:40:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow marks the start of my third internship.

Tuesday marks the start of my fourth internship.

Somewhere in between 8:30 a.m. Monday on the train and 6 p.m.-ish on the train home Tuesday I will likely question the purpose of my life. Both internships are unpaid, but cover travel expenses. One will be marketing and PR work and the other will be video editing and production for a comedy theater in the city.

Beyond the main issue of not having a permanent job, these internships signal the end to a style of life. I was getting accustomed to looking for jobs all day. I didn't say I liked that style of life.

I am an anti-shaving, anti-socks, anti-belt, shorts-wearing kind of guy. This doesn't always mesh with corporate America. I suppose they'll want me to shower on a regular basis too. When does it end? I will not be molded. Lots of people talk about settling into a career, but I need to draw the line somewhere.

In reality, I am looking forward to these opportunities. I am always looking for more material and I am pretty sure people don't like hearing about the job I saw on Craigslist. Now, I'll have something to talk about on the phone beyond that crazed squirrel in my backyard that thinks it's a cat. And there's always the hope of an office romance. For the record, I have nothing against cougars...as long as they can provide the lifestyle to which I am accustomed and deserve--four square meals and cable television.

Yeah Mondays.

Some Levity

2008-08-24T21:56:00.002-05:00

For your viewing pleasure, here is one of my favorite scenes in cinema. Have a good week.

Sadness

2008-08-20T17:27:00.004-05:00

Please post this flier at local beaches and underwater oases. This story is very upsetting. I hope things work out for baby Colin.

For the video from Australia...

Calling All Beauty-Disadvantaged

2008-08-20T17:19:00.004-05:00

Perchance Mount Isa is the paper bag capital of Australia or even the world.

My love grows more and more for Australia with each story I read about the happenings in Oz. The latest comes from the Times Online.

John Molony, the mayor of Mount Isa in northern Queensland, suggested to the Townsville Bulletin newspaper:

“If there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa. Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face. Whether it is recollection of something previous, or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness.” He added: “Often those who are beauty-disadvantaged are unhappy with their lot. Some, in other places in Australia, need to proceed to Mount Isa, where happiness awaits. And, really, beauty is only skin deep. Isn’t there a fairy tale about an ugly duckling that evolves into a beautiful swan?”

Since my secondary plan for my trip to Oz involves the search for a wife, this story has proved beneficial in informing me of the apparent lack of lasses in Queensland. The ladies of the town, of which there are suspiciously no pictures in the story, have naturally taken to protesting this disparaging view of their Aussie sisters by the mayor. He will not back down.

I do wonder how long it took the mayor to arrive at 'beauty-disadvantaged.' You have to give the man credit for not saying 'ugly.' I wonder if his thought process looked something like this:

~~Ugly~~
~~Grotesque~~
~~Sub-7's~~
~~Homely~~
~~Handsome~~
~~Like my wife~~
~~Great personalities~~
~~Face for radio~~
~~Butterface~~

The story continues:

One 26-year-old man described the town as the “beer goggles capital of Australia” because the male population was not at all choosy when it came to the opposite sex. Paul Woodlands, 25, a builder, told the Townsville Bulletin: “There’s definitely a lack of beautiful women. Blokes are not as picky - you take what you can get.”

Clearly the town is in need of some objective judgment. Therefore, I submit my application to deem whether Mount Isa women are fuglier than other cities. This will be exhausting work, but I've been training for this all my life.

The Ribbon is Our Bitch

2008-08-19T12:12:00.004-05:00

Sadly this video was taken down. You should be sad you missed it. Go get some tissues.

Olympic Greatness:

Also go here for more.

Tally Hall's Internet show

2008-08-15T23:10:00.002-05:00

Also: check out www.tallyhall.com for a sneak preview skit entitled "Natural Ketchup"

(I couldn't figure out how to embed that video)

Also #2: check out their actual music at www.myspace.com/tallyhall

OCD Pig Squeels for Contract and Film Deal

2008-08-13T11:00:00.014-05:00

First, check this out.

If you are too lazy to click a link, here's the synop: Six-week old piglet Cinders cleverly discovered a way to avoid a certain future in a skillet near you. Perhaps while watching a recent episode of Monk, Cinders plotted her "fear" of mud.

Cinder's owners fitted her with her very own pair of "Wellies," formerly adorning their child's key chain. I did expect for the Wellies to be a bit more fashion-forward like these:

Now, Cinder can walk in the mud sans fear of getting dirty.

Mr Keeble and wife Debbie, both 42, run a sausage company and keep about 200 pigs on their 1,000-acre farm.

But the father-of-four said there was no chance that Cinders would be slaughtered.

"She's more of a pet really now and she's going to live a very long and happy life," he said.

With a name like "Cinders" is their doubt that the piglet was destined for the stove?

I'm sure they tell ALL the piglets that they will live very long and happy lives, all the way to the slaughterhouse.

Cinders isn't the first pig thirsty for fame. She comes at the curly-tailed end of a long line of porcine princesses.

There was , also a compulsive worrier.

Then came our literary friend Wilbur in E.B. White's .

All leading up to , the mistaken-identity pig who can impress in the sticks as well in the city.

I fully expect Cinders to extend her brand beyond the fenced confines of North Yorks. Expect her own line of Wellies, perhaps with sausages or lil piglets flying. I also heard a movie deal was in the works, after a guest spot, of course, on next week's episode of Monk.

U-S-A

2008-08-11T11:56:00.003-05:00

In case you missed it.

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/share.html?videoid=0811_HD_SWB_HL_L0194

In this corner: depression

2008-08-09T20:58:00.001-05:00

It's Saturday night and I'm searching job sites.

No Such Thing As Bad Publicity

2008-08-08T17:47:00.006-05:00

What have we learned this week class? If you want to get your face on the screen or in the paper you have to either announce your candidacy for presidency or, depending on your desperation, admit having an affair with a novice filmmaker.

Columbia Journalism Review has been persistent during the past week or two in questioning why media have ignored the John Edwards affair. “A Lack Of Corroboration” briefly explores WaPo's handling of the story.

Here's what I wonder with the Edwards deal-e-o: Since I am extremely distrustful of the intentions of the media hungry and politicians, did Edwards admit having an affair because no one in the press seemingly cared enough to give the story air time or ink?

Edwards maintains the child is not his. I'll need to see the kid's hair cut receipts to judge for myself.

Furthermore, the woman involved in the affair got a contract out of the fling. Being unemployed, I take this as another strategy to break into the entertainment business.

Step 1: go to a bar.
Step 2: make nice with someone running for president.
Step 3: get a job.

Class dismissed.

Note: I had some other witty things written but they were lost when Blogger was doing maintenance on the site.

Election 08': McCain, Obama and....Hilton?

2008-08-06T21:32:00.004-05:00

Paris is smarter than we think people.

Paris Hilton Responds to McCain Adfunny videosFunnyOrDie.com

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

After seeing this, I think we should give her more credit. Sure she is like Jennifer Lopez with mediocre looks and singing ability, but the girl knows when she is being used or being made fun of. We can clearly see that with this fun little response for Mr. Old and wrinkly McCain. She makes more sense than he does, so she's got my vote. Although seeing the White House not white anymore might be a traumatic experience for me.

China

2008-08-01T16:40:00.001-05:00

China gets all the perks. First it was announced that they would host this year's Olympics. If that weren't enough, they also got the total solar eclipse.

You can go here to check it out in case you missed it. They have a few videos recapping the amazing event. Totality occurs a little after 51 minutes in the telescope-only video.

I will always be amazed by the cosmos. I do recall a solar eclipse when I was in elementary school that was truly amazing.

Gas Up. TV Up.

2008-08-01T15:43:00.003-05:00

USA Today had this in yesterday's paper. Turns out the increased gas prices are leading to more people turning on the tele. I also read about an increase in movie attendance.

The Big 4 networks (and total TV viewing) are up slightly, reversing years of declines, even as basic cable continues to grow with more original series.

"People are home more," says John Rash, media buyer at Campbell Mithun, a Minneapolis ad agency. "The sluggish economy may have meant more people opted for television as their entertainment of choice."

Unintended consequences of rising gas prices.

When You're Smiling

2008-07-31T23:11:00.006-05:00

There's no denying it. Being young has its disadvantages, especially in the world of journalism. You can look forward to long hours, low pay (if you're lucky enough to get paid), hostile treatment from sources and the often depressing nature of covering what's wrong with the world.

But, just in time, there is this site: windowonthemedia.com/JollyJournalist.

I heard about this in an Australian podcast, which examines the current media situation in Oz and around the world. So, if you're feeling the malaise of being unappreciated take a refresher course in what makes journalism great.

My reasons: you get to see the world through the eyes of others and tell stories. Plus, you aren't chained to a desk.

Why do you pursue journalism?

Patch Print Problems In Three Easy Steps

2008-07-31T09:31:00.007-05:00

I'm a parasite.

A leech.

According to this article in the Maui Time Weekly I am part of the problem, not the solution. Ted Rall makes some interesting market-based points about how to remedy the tanking print industry. Among them, all newspapers should pull the plug on their online offerings.

Other suggestions included copyrighting every article and cease participation in wire services.

Other key points:

"The New York Times or the big city daily has better news, but how much better?" said San Jose State University business professor Joel West. "If it's $20/month (or even $10 or merely requires a login) will readers bother? Most won't. As with other commodities, better loses to 'good enough.'"
"A reader of The New York Times' print edition generates about 170 times as much revenue as someone who surfs NYTimes.com. (This is because print readers spend 47 minutes with the paper. Online browsers visit the paper's website a mere seven minutes)."

Be Gabriel Almeida

2008-07-25T12:18:00.002-05:00

Attention journalists: You may recall introductory lectures from your journalism classes instructing you on a story's legs and newsyness. Well, Gabriel Almeida is getting the press all of our professors predicted.

SAO PAULO (Reuters) - An 11-year-old boy is enjoying a flash of fame in Brazil after biting a pitbull that attacked him as he played in his uncle's back yard, local media reported on Thursday.

Gabriel Almeida, who lives on the outskirts of Belo Horizonte in the state of Minas Gerais, broke a canine tooth when he bit into the dog's neck to fend off an attack. Since then, he has been pampered in the studios of several TV stations, where he has been recounting his ordeal.

And what do we all know class? Dog bites man isn't a story, but Man bites dog certainly is.

"I grabbed him by the neck and bit," he told O Globo newspaper. "It's no big deal. It's better to lose a tooth than to lose your life.

"He was freed when bystanders pulled the dog off him and needed four stitches in his arm.

Would the story have received as much coverage had it been the boy's molar that was broken?

What's Wrong With 'Sex Fruit'?

2008-07-24T11:44:00.009-05:00

From the AP wire/Yahoo! News:

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names here, and did something about it.

Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed.

I don't see many problems with Talula, perhaps the problem arose due to the 'does the hula' part. It sounds more like an instructional video than a name. Using verbs as middle names is inventive. At least we know the girl's parents took something from school. They can form simple sentences. Subject. Verb. Object.

The story continues saying the judge listed other odd names that were prohibited. I wonder if the recent celeb baby names were on the list. Among some of the nixed names were: Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin take note; naming your kids after food = not cool.
Everyone knows Detroit sucks.
I'll take a guess that Keenan and Lucy were the parents.
Frankly, I see no problem with Sex Fruit. I was planning on attaching that moniker to my first born.

According to the story, allowed names include "Number 16 Bus Shelter" (place of conception?) and "Violence."

Prez Reps Pitch Media Policies

2008-07-24T10:01:00.009-05:00

TV Week posted this article yesterday regarding McCain's and Obama's views on media ownership and access.

Candidates’ Differences on Media Outlined

Barack Obama would more closely examine broadcasters’ public-interest obligations, while John McCain would ensure that the government doesn’t take steps to interfere with the Internet’s growth, surrogates for the candidates are suggesting.

At a forum Tuesday sponsored by the Minority Media & Telecommunications Council, former FCC Chairman William Kennard, speaking for Obama, and former Assistant Secretary of Commerce John Kneuer, speaking for McCain, offered sharply different views of the Federal Communications Commission’s future under their candidates.

This was an interesting point refuting the Web as an equal alternative to traditional broadcast.

Mr. Kneuer, now senior VP of strategic planning and external affairs for Rivada Networks, also said proponents of consolidation wrongly cite the Internet and new media as providing competition, when most Americans still get their news and information from traditional broadcast and cable media. Advertisers too spend most of their media dollar on the traditional media.

File Under 'C' for Coincidence

2008-07-23T12:08:00.001-05:00

This one comes from the Tribune wire services.

NEW ORLEANS (AP) -- A Continental Airlines flight carrying former presidential candidate Ron Paul and six other members of Congress to Washington, D.C., made an emergency landing in New Orleans on Tuesday after a loss in cabin pressure.

Here's where it gets good:

The seven congressmen, all from Texas, were trying to get back in time for a Tuesday night vote on an aviation safety bill when the flight landed without incident, a spokesman for one of the representatives said. No injuries were reported among the 128 crew and passengers.

An AVIATION SAFETY bill!

Box Office Math

2008-07-22T23:02:00.017-05:00

The Dark Knight is breaking box-office records thanks to a huge opening weekend. Variety reported on the film's box office take for a non-holiday Monday. According to the article and other hype (is it hype?) surrounding the film, it should shatter all records and is the greatest film ever put on celluloid.

Warner Bros.' "The Dark Knight" barely slowed down as it grossed a record-breaking $24.6 million at the domestic box office Monday and plowed toward the $200 million mark, sporting a cume of $182.9 million in its four days.

The question I have when everyone continues to say how movies are breaking box office records relates to box office math. Ticket prices continually go up. Box office numbers are measured in gross money earned. Ticket prices continue to go up, so the way I view it, the increase in ticket prices has to contribute to the rise in box office take, right?
source: National Association of Theater Owners

Granted the margin between the previous leader and Batman is pretty wide, is it really that big a difference? Or do the media love records more than the folks at Guinness?

* Weekend equals Fri-Sat-Sun. Movies that do not have a 3-day opening gross are not included on this chart.
^ Total Gross does include additional releases, if any.
** First weekend of wide release.
source: Box Office Mojo (sounds official)

Thoughts? Movie reviews?

Also, how is it that Mama Mia made 27 million?

Are You On the List?

2008-07-22T20:24:00.001-05:00

The other day I received an email invite to a bar promotion near Wrigley. I pride myself on these open bar opportunities, not because I'm a lush but because I'm cheap. Open bars, like all-you-can-cram-in-your-mouth buffets, are largely wasted on me. Most open bars tend to have stipulations like only beer or cheap well drinks. For someone with the discriminating palette of a finicky 15-year-old girl, I stay away from wasting brain cells on things that don't taste good. I am still holding out for an all-you-can drink amaretto sours night.

Nevertheless, the email flier said to print out the email and bring it to the bar. I'm a guest list kind of guy. A guest list has panache and cachet that a printed piece of paper just can't compete with. Essentially, it's a coupon for free admittance. While I am a firm believer in the power of coups, I don't like bringing them to clubs. Perhaps it's my own paranoia but I never thought coupons woo the ladies.

The issue of guest lists reminds me of their negative elements. Due to the burgeoning Greek life at Northwestern, some fraternities applied some lessons from econ class to create demand at their functions.
Eager to see what all the hullabaloo was associated with frats I ventured out one winter night with some dorm mates. The frat had a rotund fellow at the door equipped with, what else, a clipboard. My posse briskly walked up to the entrance where the bass beat was steaming out of the open front door. In a deep bass voice, he inquired "are you on the list?"

Stupefied, we stood there for a moment. We didn't know anyone in this frat. Meanwhile, the females in our congregation walked right in. Speaking quickly with chattering teeth we decided to hit up a different frat with more lax admittance policies.

At one point, I was hired to be a bouncer. I'll save that story for another post.

I, like most people, prefer to be on the list.

Time Mag Moves To Become Hotspot For Politics Discussion

2008-07-19T10:04:00.004-05:00

Time magazine is introducing a sort of point/counterpoint (only point-point) page for Sen. Obama and Sen. McCain to write a weekly essay on an issue of Time's choosing. The page will be called "In Their Words."

This'll be nice. Brilliant move on Time mag's part. Hopefully the speeches will actually be written by them and not policy aides/wonks. I'm more inclined to think Obama's will be his own and McCain's, well, I'm not sure.

Info from mediabistro.com/fishbowlny, quoted from Time:

Two weeks ago, we presented dueling essays by the presidential candidates on the nature of patriotism. This week, Senators Obama and McCain face off on their strategies for Afghanistan. Their essays inaugurate a regular feature called In Their Words, in which the candidates will share a page and debate an issue of our choosing. Every week, we give you great reporting and analysis on the presidential campaign, but now we're also offering you the unvarnished and unfiltered views of the candidates so you can compare them side by side.

Hey Now. You're an All-Star

2008-07-15T22:43:00.004-05:00

Anyone watch the All-Star game tonight? I tend to watch sports in spurts. Watch an inning, then flip to something else on a commercial.

Nevertheless, two comments. What was with the display of man love for Steinbrenner during the pre-game? I think I saw Yogi slip the boss some tongue. Secondly, are ball players genetically disposed to chronic spitting? What the hell are they eating? I haven't seen as many spitters since the women walking the streets of Philly.

Comments? To those in New York, what was it like? Atmosphere? Noise factor? Affect on transit?

Race For Blanco

2008-07-15T14:42:00.015-05:00

As a child (and arguably as an adult) my art skills weren't even good enough to elicit platitudes comparing my work to abstract. I remember going to my grandma's house and coloring. For school and at home, I had the standard box of eight crayons. But when I went to my gram's I got to choose from 64, everything from sky blue to fire red and those sparkly ones. The rainbow in a box also had a white crayon, which had hardly been used.

As I fill out applications for internships and job openings I am increasingly irritated. In addition to causing posterior pain, the self-identification section is hurting my self-esteem.

In an application I can't mark any of the good boxes. I'm a fully abled, non-veteran male who is able to work legally in the U.S. with no prior felonies. If that weren't bad enough, I'm also "white." Every other group gets better options, like Pacific Islander. I'd hire a Pacific Islander solely on that fact.

Obama gave his race speech. Here is mine. I want a race option that's better than a non-color. Thanks to my sister, who is an artist and coincidentally able to color inside lines, I learned that white is not a color. I want something with a hyphen. Whoever makes these applications usually sticks "white" at the bottom of the options. So, as I'm going through the application I'm reminded of all the things I'm not.

Furthermore, none of the other groups are defined by color (or non-color in my case). But what are the alternatives? Caucasian? Cracker? Honky? All viable options, but none of them sing to me like a Pac-Islander.

In my paranoia and attempt to explain why I don't get called for interviews I deflect all personal responsibility. I do what most "white" people do. I pass the blame.

When Life Is But A Framed Picture

2008-07-14T04:15:00.003-05:00

So us reporting interns got a second managing editor at our Philly newspaper this week. If first impressions are all they're cracked up to be, then this guy has got a pretty big ego. What's the tip-off? His framed certificate for best AP reporting in the state.

Now, in all fairness, this is certainly a recognition of efforts that is something to be proud of. However, I think it's more than a bit much when on your first day at a new job, you carry the framed certificate with you into the conference room where you're meeting the reporters - who would ideally respect you for your work and not your accolades - who you'll be working with. It also seems odd when that same framed certificate finds a permanent home on that editor's desk, right next to the computer, exactly as if it were a framed photograph of his family or kids.

This seems counterproductive to me, even after I take a moment to try and give him the benefit of the doubt. He appears to be a good person, and seems to want recognition and respect, extending his pride and joy simultaneously with the first handshake. Yet respect comes not with titles and awards, but with mutual effort and a strong [in this case, work] relationship. Seemingly identifying himself so conspicuously with his material accolades kind of sabotages, or at least makes more difficult, a clear understanding and mutual respect between editor and reporter.

On top of that, he seems to be big on cutting large portions of our stories in favor of succinctness because "it's AP style." This is in contrast to the other managing editor's approach, which is straightforward and concise without infringing on the reporter's style and voice. He actually explains his thought process behind the edit and the explanation is more rooted in readability and clarity than a book of rules.

What do you guys think? Perhaps some perspective will help.

Media Reacts To Being Duped

2008-07-13T10:44:00.006-05:00

The Chicago Tribune, along with many other papers, were quick to print corrections Friday for the missile photo printed and posted Thursday. This Eric Benderoff article provided some context to other video manipulations circulating the web, while the Trib also ran this as a news piece highlighting the differences between the real and allegedly altered photos.

Benderoff interviewed Bob Steele, journalism professor at DePauw University.

"We're not only gullible but we're becoming greedy as consumers," said Bob Steele, an ethics professor for journalism at DePauw University in Indiana. "We want more and more information and we're willing to believe anything these days.

"That greed is manifested in putting out a lot of information that is not properly vetted and verified. That's dangerous. Not only does it erode the credibility of news organizations, but it also erodes the confidence of our society in what we see."

I was reading Thursday about Australian media and there was an essay regarding representation. I had read a similar argument earlier in a media criticism class, but it goes something like this: photos and videos are merely representations of the real and can never equal the real. There's some mention of simulacra and simulacrum, both of which ultimately confused me at the time.

This argument is of interest especially as our society's insatiable hunger for content, regardless of credibility, continues to grow. As Professor Steele had said we demand increasingly more information. But these images and videos that we demand, despite being limited representations of an event, carry the ability to influence actions and attitudes.

Election Advice

2008-07-12T21:42:00.001-05:00

The Onion, the beacon of truth, recently posted this video. I will utilize all tactics.

Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

Top Secret Gov't Plan Exposed

2008-07-11T18:38:00.003-05:00

There is an explanation for the ever-surging gas prices in our country that the government doesn't want you to know.

I allege increased gas prices are part of the government's war on automobile deaths. Probably unintentionally, considering their past track record at social change, the government has reduced automobile fatalities by nearly a third between 1985 and 2006 through the increased price at the pump.

Our good friends at the Associated Press reported on a recent study analyzing gas prices and auto death fatalities. The finding: as gas prices go up, deaths go down. Conversely, they found that as gas prices go down, deaths go up.

That is what they call a negative correlation in the math world.

The article presents explanations from the researchers, Michael Morrisey of the University of Alabama at Birmingham and David Grabowski of Harvard Medical School, on what factors influence this change in deaths.

Pontifications? Issues with their argument?

Huge misfire by Agence France Presse

2008-07-11T11:47:00.002-05:00

You've all heard the story by now. The AFP distributed a doctored photo Wednesday depicting 4 missiles being fired in Iran. The image was propaganda from the Iran Revolutionary Guard, and the original image actually only depicted 3 missiles in the air and a grounded missile that may have failed. While this may not seem like a huge difference, the fact that no one caught the changes before the image was published on hundreds of websites is scary. How do you catch these doctored images, anyway? The other frightening part is that the propaganda engine that manipulated the image can read our photo editors' thoughts.

"[Ken] Lyons, of the Denver Post, said it is no consolation to him that many other papers – including local rival The Rocky Mountain News – also ran the four-missile photo.
'I take absolutely no comfort in that at all," he says. Lyons was also reflective about how much stronger the picture seems with the one extra missile. "The thing I've been asking myself all day is, Would we have run it if it were just the three?'"

(Excerpt taken from an article on PDN Online by Daryl Lang. See the full article here.)

Just when I start working at a magazine...

2008-07-11T11:39:00.003-05:00

I think I will soon invest in that website that teaches important web and design programs. Just when I start work at a magazine, the Publisher's Information Bureau releases a report saying that in the last quarter, magazine ads have fallen 8% on average. Some of the worst cases show magazines like Newsweek down as much as 34.9%. This leaves the industry down almost $0.4 billion dollars since last year. Check out the story.

http://www.foliomag.com/2008/magazine-ad-pages-fall-7-4-percent-first-half

A Day At The Pool

2008-07-11T00:06:00.001-05:00

The joys of unemployment and summer never cease. With a pal from university, I headed to the local water park for an afternoon of slides, ogling and luke warm agua. Leaving my Venice Beach lifeguard shirt at home, I had hopes of a possible Sandlot moment, where I'd be rescued by my very own Wendy Pfeffercorn.

It should be mentioned that my swimming ability is on par with that of the gorillas.

Side note if I may. So, as I was writing the above sentence I researched to find an animal that can't swim. Google led me to Yahoo! Answers. Beyond the numerous comedians, scroll down to Fallin' Angel's (apparently their wings are broken) post. I'm not sure why the person posted their message. Why would you go on Yahoo to promote Google? Do they work for Google? Are they trying to? Is Fallin' Angel a Google disciple, a goociple, if you will? That just sounds like a dessert no one wants.

-"I'm all out of ice cream. Can I interest you in a goociple?"
-"No. It's getting late. I should get going."

In no way does that assist the person. Why would you take the effort to post "check out Google"? Furthermore, Google LED me to Yahoo. The vicious circle continues.

I also learned, according to Betty, that kangaroos can't walk backwards. I'll have to verify if/when I go to Oz.

Back to the pool...with my protective triple coating of Ocean Potion to prevent additional burnage, Brian and I surveyed the park's offerings. There was a kiddy pool with barely enough water to dip in my big toe. But, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't drown in the 2 inches of water. We skipped that and headed for the slides.

There were four slides. Two for body luging and two for tubin'. The teal slide was a leisurely descent into the pool. The pink slide was deceptive. I usually equate pink with peaceful. This slide made me scream like a six- and 3/8 ths-year-old girl. An added benefit was the nasal colonic. This wasn't mentioned in the brochure, if it had there might have been a larger geriatric representation. I think water managed to blast all the way through my sinuses and to my brain.

The tube slides were fun and cushioned my ever sensitive bum from the re-entry.

Another enjoyable activity, in addition to people watching, was the Coral Corral. The ideal for laziness. Step one: sit in inner tube. Step two: let water push you around. That's it. It was pretty relaxing aside from the kids that thought of the lazy river as some sort of bumper tubes game. I decided that someday when I have excess money and a large estate, instead of a moat I'll install a lazy river thing. For when I want to move in the water without any physical effort.

It was a fun time, but the park could have used a regular pool for those interested in that sort of thing. I'm not saying I'm at the stage to be swimming laps but I'd like the option.

Whoa, Black Betty!

2008-07-10T23:13:00.006-05:00

Bam-a-lam! And you thought the song was controversial...wait till you see this. It has nothing to do with journalism, really, besides it possibly being an indicator of the direction our culture is taking. It does, however, involve something that (I should think) intrigues us all.

I saw an ad in the subway for this hair care product today. At first, I thought it was a shampoo that maintained your dye color. Then, as I walked along, I thought it was actually hair dye. Then, I read the catch phrase. "Color for the hair down there." No way? Yes...way.

Introducing Betty, the new pubic hair dye. It comes in blonde betty, black betty, brunette betty, auburn betty, a pink "fun betty," and an aqua blue "malibu betty." The blonde and malibu colors even come with free stencils, in case you want to paint a flower, butterfly, dolphin, or palm tree on your hoo-ha.

In the new movie, "Sex and the City," Miranda is gawked at by her lady friends when she is laying out in a bathing suit, exposing her overgrowth of "hair down there." Now we know she was just trying to show off how she can color her carpet to match the draperies.

If you think it distasteful to blog about the color of your "cha-cha," consider this--the Betty product line has won the indie beauty award as well as a cosmetic product innovator award. Apparently our baby boomers don't want any grays at all, and they're not shy about their excitement for this product. As for the younger generation...Paris, Li-Lo, and Britney, don't fight. There's enough pink dye out there for all of you.

Collection

2008-07-08T14:29:00.005-05:00

I'm also starting a New York travel fund. Don't worry about my pride, I'll take all donations excluding belly button lint. So, while you're earning that minimum wage being a goffer, think of the great times we could all have in the N-Y-C.

Chicago Magazine had this regarding begging in Chicago. I may soon be on their list.

IHS Commune

2008-07-08T14:26:00.002-05:00

Just a suggestion: anyone in favor of an IHS commune? We could work the land, setup our own newspaper (we could all be editors), live the good life. Perhaps we could hire a film crew under the guise of it being an internship and produce a reality show.

Thoughts?

Drug Busts Gone Wild?

2008-07-06T22:22:00.005-05:00

In 1996, the NYPD was ridiculed for going too far in busting head shops selling paraphernalia that could be considered legal. Click here to read the New York Times story.

That was then. This is now. This year's hot drug is Salvia, a relative of mint and sage that causes a powerful psychedelic experience. Despite its ability to deliver an experience as strong as LSD, salvia is legal. Why? Perhaps it is because its effects only last up to an hour or because it causes its user to become introspective rather than causing him to jump off a building in an attempt to fly. A more likely explanation, though, is that salvia's long-term effects are not yet known. There is currently no evidence that it is addictive, and in the hundreds of years Mexican indians have used the herb, no complications or harmful consequences have been reported. We currently do not know how exactly salvia works. It does not involve dopamine or other neurotransmitters researched so far.

The government is researching salvia to find out more, but I have to wonder if it is reasonable to ban salvia. It is not a party drug. People who attempt to use it as such do not buy it a second time. The "buzz" is short-lived, and the chances of anyone doing anything illegal under the influence is slim, considering users are nearly inanimate and stuck in their own dimension during the spell. I would argue that if a person wants a 10-minute artistic or philosophical experience in his or her own home, at no risk to others, it should not be the business of the government to regulate that. I mean, knowing as little about it as we do, who am I to tell Hank from the Village that he shouldn't get to see the world in 2-D? However, some states, including Missouri and Louisiana, have already discussed bills on banning the sale of salvia. I would argue this attention is not merited, and unless a real health risk is involved, the government should not even touch it. But enough about me. What do you think? Should the magic mint be prohibited?

Reporter Source Resource

2008-07-06T08:38:00.006-05:00

Hey guys. A colleague forwarded this site to me and although I haven't used it yet, it looks like a useful resource to add to our cache of 'ways to get sources.'

: http://www.helpareporter.com/press/

Its a newsletter where journalists can post requests looking for sources for their stories. Email "newsletters" go out several times daily to people who sign up to be potential sources.
The guy who acts as the filter does this completely on his own time for the good karma it produces, and the site generally seems like a positive resource for finding people to interview or to flesh out a story.

Another similar site, but with more history and establishment behind it, is:

www.profnet.org

Post a little blurb explaining your story and your source needs, and hopefully get a response from an academic or business person who is an expert on that subject!

Just thought these might be useful...
... in other news, there were U.S. Navy sailors in full white uniform walking around Philly for the Fourth of July weekend bc their ship docked so tourists can see the inside of a working ship.
I didn't get a look at the ship, but like most other summer Philadelphians, I was fortunate to get a peek at apple-cheeked young men in uniform.

Some guys saluted them. Some girls giggled and took pictures with them. I asked them for an unofficial interview. ... go figure.

It's A 5 Dog Eat-Off

2008-07-04T11:55:00.013-05:00

"This is one of the greatest moments in sports history."

"The passion is raw, but the hot dogs are cooked."

Nothing screams American pride quite like competitive eating. Nathan's Hot Doge Eating Contest just finished after a five dog eat-off between Joey Chestnut and Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, which apparently has never happened in the annual Coney Island-hosted event. This year marked the 93rd time eaters pitted their stomachs against other's.

I love the hyperbole used in sportscasting. The announcers managed to hang the future of the world on the outcome.

Winning hot dog count: 59 (plus 5 dog eat-off).
My record for hot dogs eaten in a day: 4.

So this Fourth of July, be sure to load up on calories and forget about all those who are starving elsewhere in the world.

Fourth of July

2008-07-03T17:49:00.008-05:00

I got a bison burger yesterday and it had an American flag toothpick holding it together. Inspired by this clear display of patriotism, could everyone make an effort to snap some pictures of their holiday festivities (parades, fireworks, bbq's, trouble-making, etc.) and post them along with blurbs about their day?

Let's share how independence is celebrated around the country in all its lavish glory.

I will do my best to capture the essence of the Fourth in a small 'burb outside of Chicago.

I just came across this as well. It makes Mt. Rushmore look pathetic. I get a lactose-induced headache just looking at this. Why is patriotism so painful?

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A sculpture of the signing of the Declaration of Independence made from a one-tonne block of cheddar cheese glistened on the sidewalk of Times Square in New York on Thursday as an artist's tribute to the Fourth of July.

Who brought the Ritz?

Chancellor Concurs With Gillespie

2008-07-03T17:05:00.005-05:00

In an article from the future, Times Online reports on the increase in paying bills with plastic.

This week the Bank of England revealed that credit card borrowing staged its sharpest rise in May for almost two and a half years. A survey by E[rnst]&Y[oung] found that households were 15 per cent worse off than they were five years ago.
...
Alistair Darling said: “The UK economy is fundamentally far, far better than it ever was in the past.

And we all know that access to credit has far improved the quality of life for citizens.

At least we aren't the only country going through money problems.

...And the Murrow Goes to...

2008-07-02T15:40:00.004-05:00

It struck me a bit odd today when I read that media awards themselves for disaster coverage. The RTNDA announced the 2008 winners of the Edward R. Murrow Awards, honoring excellence in electronic journalism. The awards will be presented at a swanky dinner on Oct. 13, in New York.

Isn't standard award procedure to announce the nominees, THEN have a dramatic reveal at the dinner? This sounds like a pseudo event. They are doubling their news coverage of the awards. Maybe we can secure a late award for best coverage of the awards?

Despite all of the negative press regarding Katie Couric as host of the CBS Evening News, the program won for best newscast. Take that NBC and ABC.

The awarding of disaster coverage reminds me of Mitch Hedberg's sketch regarding reservations at restaurants.

Sadly, our blog did not bring home any Murrow's. Consequently, there will be no after party. We'll get 'em next year.

New Yorker

2008-07-01T20:17:00.006-05:00

I yoinked my first issue of the New Yorker from the library last night. The magazine makes me feel simultaneously educated and dumb. The articles are rather lengthy and my attention span is rather short. The cartoons are amusing and I very much enjoy the overall style of the mag.

Anyone discovering new mags/news sources?

Happy Birthday, Patrick!!

2008-06-29T21:29:00.003-05:00

To the man who only wears his Red Hot Chili Peppers tee. To the man who drunkenly wanders around in aviators, nearly smashing the guitar he's playing. To the man who loses a group of 20 people within 5 minutes. To the man who can hold a conversation about chewing gum. We all love him. And I'm sure if he were around right now, we'd get him schnockered and make him do all those silly things over again. Happy Birthday, Patrick. I hope wherever you are, you're getting schnockered and doing all those silly things over again.

Guns Don't Kill People: Follow Up

2008-06-28T13:54:00.004-05:00

I went online to The Disaster Center at http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/dccrime.htm and looked up the D.C. statistics taken from the District of Columbia's 2005 Cities crimes and Rates as reported in the FBI's September 2006 release of the "UCR for Metropolitan Statistical Areas" (MSA). Go to the link if you want to see actual numbers. I calculated the number of violent crimes, divided by the year, times one thousand, getting to the number of violent crimes per 1000 people in a given year. Here is a table so you can visualize this data. In Mr. Gillespie's interview, it was mentioned that D.C. gun laws have not helped to lower the violent crime rate. This would appear to be true, as it has fluctuated minimally in either direction, seemingly at random. You would not necessarily be able to pinpoint the year the gun laws came to be unless someone told you. Remember, the number of crimes is per one thousand people.

How 'bout going to New York?

2008-06-27T18:40:00.005-05:00

New York City is HARDLY Bryn Mawr, but it's a nice enough town, I guess.

I know this is hardly Serious Journalistic Business, but since we are Serious Journalists, and travel is a part of our Business, it's relevant. I was talking with Ew yesterday and the possibility of meeting in NYC at summer's end came up. What do you think? Want to come with? Some of our very favorite people live in New York, and so do their couches. Let's take advantage of that!

(People who live in New York: wouldn't it be cool if we all came and visited you? In New York? En masse? Can we stay on your couch?)

Email me at kalipeterson@gmail.com if you're interested and we'll talk dates.

Guns Don't Kill People

2008-06-26T21:16:00.015-05:00

With the recent Supreme Court decision regarding gun regulation and the Second Amendment here is a collection of work from our lecturers:

Reason's articles on the topic can be found here.

Reason.tv:

National Review Online's editors wrote this:

For decades, localities around the country — the capital, New York City, Chicago, and many of its suburbs — have violated their residents’ right to keep and bear arms. Each of these locations directly or indirectly bans handguns.

Today the Supreme Court, in a ruling that is faithful to the Constitution, struck down the handgun ban in the nation’s capital. This ruling is the beginning of a long process — it will not affect bans in Illinois or New York — but is a good sign in itself.

Philadelphia Inquirer localized with this.

Does anyone have stats on the effectiveness of gun laws?

There's Nothing On The Prompter

2008-06-26T10:36:00.003-05:00

Here's a clip from the exalted CNN. Anchor Kyra Phillips had no script and no prompter.

I've been there. One of my first broadcast stories I did in college was, what some might call, a train wreck. As I recall the story was a consumer piece comparing the prices of goods on-campus versus off-campus. I bought an assortment of goods at the different stores to assess price differences. I had boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (arguably the greatest cereal known to man) and candy bars. The prompter went out mid-sentence and my face could best be described as "fearful."

Lesson: Read your script and have a general understanding of the point of what you're reading. All too often we see anchors just reading the work of the producers and writers. When something messes up they are lost.

Isn't She Beautiful

2008-06-25T22:57:00.004-05:00

I remember learning about Greek mythology in 7th grade. That is how I vaguely remembered Aphrodite, when I saw a statue of her in The Great Hall at Bryn Mawr College. What was so stunning about Aphrodite (statue is apparently Athena), was not only her beauty, but the gifts, or offerings scattered around her.

I was confused at first; here I am in the hall, a wide open space in front of me, and in the corner I spotted a statue of a woman with bright gold painted eyes and lips. My curiosity encouraged me to seek out this woman. Soon I was no longer paying attention to the statue but the things around her. There were notes apologizing to Aphrodite, cards made in her honor, and two items that stood out more than the rest. At her feet rest the box of an ept pregnancy test and on her outstretched arm a black thong hanging for the world to see. While there were many more random items, those were the ones that stood out in my mind.

The ladies of Bryn Mawr must have a tradition with this statue of Aphrodite. I only wish I had captured it on film.

Politics Killed the Radio Star

2008-06-25T15:59:00.003-05:00

According to TV Week, MTV will be taking political ads for the first time. Thoughts?

The Value of a Life

2008-06-25T15:47:00.003-05:00

I saw this story on yesterday's video podcast from Nine News in Sydney. A man has put his life for sale on eBay after the break-up of his marriage. The lot includes his home, job, friends and household items. There was no mention if silverware is included. As someone living at home and still in search of a job, I wonder how much I could garner for my life.

The Happy Network

2008-06-22T11:02:00.004-05:00

In my ongoing effort to make an all-positive news network, I submit this video of the world's ugliest dog.

The dog looks like a burn victim.

I would have thought about rephrasing the statement: "We are the world's ugliest dog owners."

I take it back. Apparently Gus, the dog, has gone through a lot. I feel sorry for the three-legged dog. This story wasn't as happy as I'd hoped. Where's that sneezing panda?

My Eyes

2008-06-22T10:34:00.003-05:00

Will the lawsuits never end? Reuters reports that a woman is suing Victoria's Secret for damage to her eye allegedly caused by a metal clip that "flew off" the underroos whilst she put them on. Macrida Patterson was on the Today Show with her lawyer describing what happened.

I have a few issues with this story. First, I don't like seeing the words "52-year-old woman" and "thong" in the same sentence. Second, there's a reason you get underwear WITHOUT metal. I hope this doesn't lead to warning labels on underwear.

CAUTION: May cause blindness.

If I were Patterson I would have gone on the Today Show with an ultra sexy eye patch. She drove herself home from work after the incident, went to the hospital the following day and missed work due to the incident. She had to put some ointment in her eye.

The other day I had an eyelash in my eye that was excruciatingly painful, sadly there is no one I can sue over it.

Finally, I would like to file my lawsuit against whoever made Lycra and Spandex. While the material suits a very small percentage of people, the large majority aren't "fit" to wear it. Therefore, I allege mental anguish and retinal damage. I'll see you in court.

It's In The Stars

2008-06-21T15:00:00.003-05:00

The other day I read my horoscope as I was paging through the Chicago Tribune. I was instructed that today would be a good day to ask for a raise. Seeing as I currently pull down the large sum of zero dollars an hour, which totals $0 every two weeks, I thought it was good advice. Some day, hopefully soon, when I have a job, I await the return of this horoscope. At which point I will walk into my superior's office, slam down the torn piece of paper and say "I think we need to talk."

Has anyone ever followed the advice of their horoscope?

I'm waiting for the "Today is a 1. Go back to bed." horoscope. Usually the forecasts for the day are at least a 3. Maybe the writers fear their influence on the person anxiously reading their horoscope as they inch toward the ledge of a skyscaper seeking some advice what to do.

I have yet to read an obit that says someone was found with the horoscope section beside them. The grim prediciton: Today is a 1. That sounds like a short film. Who wants to film it with me?

Unrivaled

2008-06-21T09:19:00.010-05:00

There are people who can play music. Then there are people who can play music well. Above them in this hierarchy are the greats, the legends. Then there are the immortals. The members of Return To Forever, Chick Corea ('boards), Al Di Meola (guitar), Stanley Clarke (electric and acoustic bass) and Lenny White (drums), are those immortals.

My knowledge of the super group that fused jazz and rock in the early '70s is somewhat limited. I grew up listening to their vinyl album Light As A Feather, which contains "Spain" (one of my favorite songs) and "500 Miles High." So, going into the concert held last night at the Chicago Theater I had a decent knowledge of their work and virtuosity. Yet, I had never seen them play.

I've never considered myself a huge rock fan and haven't been to a rock concert. I lean more toward jazz, folk and acoustic songs.

Nevertheless, the show Return To Forever (RTF) put on was unreal. Perched in the balcony, I observed the quartet rock out for the crowd of mostly 50-somethings, who long for the days of having hair. (Note: How do you alter your show for an aging audience? Turn it to 11.) The group hit at 8:15 p.m. and played for about an hour. That hour was chock full of rock: electric guitars, electric bass, synths and all the amplifiers a kid dreams about. I wasn't familiar with the songs they played in the first set but the group was flawless. It is clear that each player is a master and that they share some sort of indescribable bond allowing them to play as one.

After the set break, the group came back and Corea announced how they would return to their original instruments. For my sensitive ears, this was a welcomed reprieve. In a more acoustic setting, the group once again displayed their prowess. Each player took their moment in the warm spotlight, starting briefly with Corea . Corea is an innovator beyond comparison. While he was playing the acoustic piano, he had a mallet which he used to strike the lower strings creating this haunting resonance. Unreal.

Di Meola followed with his solo on acoustic guitar, as the other players exited the stage. His chops are unbelievable. The speed and clarity at which he played was ridiculous. At several points the crowd rose to its feet and applauded in awe of his genius. At times, his playing was frenetic but always crisp.

After Corea and Clarke returned to the stage and played a brief bit, Clarke took his turn. His playing could have been a show unto itself. Earlier in the evening he mentioned how he always enjoys coming to Chicago and how he has a lot of good memories playing here. Clarke managed to make his upright bass take on the personalities of several instruments. At one point he played the bass like a guitar. At another, he coaxed lyrical melodies as if it were a piano or horn. Shortly after, he examined the rhythmic capabilities of the hulky instrument making it sound like a drum set. Soon after he started playing the blues and initiated a call-and-response session with the audience. The audience, at several points, stood up and cheered for his mastery.

Corea and White returned for a number. Then White took a brief solo. The group returned and played a few songs before the finale. They began the encore with "Senor Mouse" and segued into "Spain," the lone song I knew the entire evening.

It was remarkable. It could very well be the best concert I'll see in a long time.

White said succinctly during the first set, "In an age of boy bands, this is a man's band."

Below are two videos of the group:

Locksley/Rooney Concert Review

2008-06-20T17:46:00.005-05:00

Never in my life did I think The Strokes could be topped as the best concert I've ever been to. I was wrong. So this past Tuesday evening, I attended the sold-out Locksley and Rooney show. (Rooney headlined) Now, the only way I was even able to go to this show was because I called in a favor from Locksley and they put me on the guest list, which was very nice of them. I promised to bring them cookies next time I see them. Now, Locksley is a band from Brooklyn that added ME on myspace three years ago, back when they had four songs. I listened to those four songs over and over and over and never got sick of them. Then they came to Boston to play a show at the Paradise Lounge, a tiny, tiny little bar. Turns out my sister and I were the only ones there to see them, since they were just the house band that night and weren't expecting an audience. I think it was about a 6 or 7 song set and they were so psyched to see us singing along with their songs that they gave us a copy of their album a few months prior to its release. I can't recommend this album enough; it's fantastic as far as real garage-ish rock and roll goes. Fast forward to the show. The Bridges opened, who were actually very entertaining. Mostly because it was a band of four girls and a guy and the chicks were all very attractive. Then Locksley came on and they had this brilliance about them that was clear from the second they stepped on stage. I wish I could explain how intense the next 45 minutes were, but I've been searching for words to describe it since Tuesday (it's now Friday) and haven't come up with anything. They were so perfectly energetic that their charisma and stage presence were instantly soaked up by the crowd and had all of the pre-teen girls who were there to see Rooney jumping around and screaming. It was the closest thing to Beatlemania I'll ever experience. They even covered the White Stripes song 'Hotel Yorba' and it was no less than a million times better than the actual song, which is saying something because I do enjoy the original. OK, well basically you get the idea: they're amazing. This band is about to explode in popularity, I'm saying it here first. And I swear to God if MTV does to Locksley what they did to my beloved OK Go, I will be a very, very upset Patrick.

I urge you to go see this band if you get a chance. I can guarantee you will not be disappointed. I mean, GUARANTEE.

Here's their remaining summer tour schedule:

Jun 20 2008

8:00P

Rams Head Live! (w/Rooney)

Baltimore, Maryland

Jun 21 2008

8:00P

Cat’s Cradle (w/Rooney)

Carrboro, North Carolina

Jun 22 2008

8:00P

Variety Playhouse (w/Rooney)

Atlanta, Georgia

Jun 24 2008

8:00P

Jack Rabbits (w/Rooney)

Jacksonville, Florida

Jun 25 2008

8:00P

The State Theatre (w/Rooney)

Saint Petersburg, Florida

Jun 26 2008

8:00P

House of Blues (w/Rooney)

Orlando, Florida

Jun 27 2008

8:00P

Revolution (w/Rooney)

Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Jun 29 2008

8:00P

The Parish @ House of Blues (w/Rooney)

New Orleans, Louisiana

Jul 1 2008

8:00P

Workplay Theatre (w/Rooney)

Birmingham, Alabama

Jul 2 2008

8:00P

Juanita’s Cantina Ballroom (w/Rooney)

Little Rock, Arkansas

Jul 3 2008

8:00P

House of Blues (w/Rooney)

Dallas, Texas

Jul 5 2008

8:00P

Emo’s Alternative Lounging (w/Rooney)

Austin, Texas

Jul 7 2008

8:00P

Launchpad (w/Rooney)

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Jul 8 2008

8:00P

Club Congress (w/Rooney)

Tucson, Arizona

Jul 9 2008

8:00P

House of Blues (w/Rooney)

San Diego, California

Jul 10 2008

8:00P

House of Blues (w/Rooney)

Las Vegas, Nevada

Jul 13 2008

8:00P

Hawthorne Theatre (w/Rooney)

Portland, Oregon

Jul 14 2008

8:00P

Chop Suey (w/Rooney)

Seattle, Washington

Jul 18 2008

8:00P

House of Blues (w/Rooney)

West Hollywood, California

Jul 20 2008

8:00P

House of Blues (w/Rooney)

Anaheim, California

The above video, which you probably have figured out by now, is from the Jimmy Kimmell Show they did awhile back. I couldn't find a decent video from the night I saw them. They're playing two of their songs "Let Me Know" and "She Does"

So, thank you to Locksley for getting me into the show that I will no doubt remember for years and years, for topping The Strokes as the best show I've ever seen, and for not letting me down when I could have been watching the Celtics win a championship.

Oh yeah, Rooney was OK.

Love,
Patrick

Does McCain have an "easy" button?

2008-06-20T09:18:00.002-05:00

I'm not usually a fan of Eric Alterman. In fact, I generally think he is downright full of himself for writing a book that cites himself as a source more than once. But (and this is a big but) I think, in this case, he may have a point. Let me know what you think.

Loving John McCain

By Eric Alterman & George Zornick

This article appeared in the July 7, 2008 edition of The Nation.

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20080707/alterman

Racism Keeps On Keepin' On Thanks To Sports Bloggers

2008-06-20T07:18:00.003-05:00

Even if I was black, I still think I'd disagree with everything that was said in this Nation of Islam post. Scot Pollard and Scal deserved getting a ring just as much as Nomar Garciaparra did in 2004, even though the Red Sox traded him halfway through the season.

Job Opening?

2008-06-19T18:23:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty sure he won't be back. Then again, he's been with the station since 1990, according to Wikipedia. Now, to whom do I send my demo reel?
I could do crazy stuff like this. He should have looked down at his "script" or made some sort of pause.

Release a little tension!

2008-06-19T14:40:00.002-05:00

Smash bricks with Smashout. It's a game created by my (soon to be) brother-in-law. Great game when you're frustrated with job hunting, editors, etc. Enjoy.

http://smashbricks.blogspot.com/

Odd Jobs

2008-06-19T13:56:00.005-05:00

As I spend most of my day trolling through the classifieds and online advertisements for alleged openings, I come across some opportunities that seem too good to be true. Such as this posting on Craigslist:

Drive Icecream Truck, Make Kids Happy, Get Paid Daily!!

Here's the full ad:

Date: 2008-06-19, 9:32AM CDT

I am looking for someone clean cut (check) and has a good driving record (debatable). This is a 6-7 days a week job. Hours will be from around noon until dark. Different pay options available. Commission or Hourly. Pay starts at $10.00. Call Jason Today (his last name is Today? That must be rough.) to set up an appointment. Applicant must be at least 18 years old or older (Isn't that covered when you said "at least"?). Male or female (Check). Must live within 15 miles from Elgin (double check) Spanish speaking a plus! Cash Paid Daily (I love cash)! 847-###-####. Do not email me.

A few things here:

I had a good driving record until that ticket for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign.
I think this should be reworded to "This job will be your life."
I love making kids happy.
There is no mention of being able to tolerate "Turkey and the Straw" for hours on end.

Please post other dream jobs you come across.

Taking Pilates Back

2008-06-19T13:15:00.000-05:00

It has come to my attention that mentioning my penchant for pilates is construed as feminine. The mere mention that I got my quasi-chiseled physique through the aid of pilates elicits a giggle from the people I tell, mainly the ladies. Therefore, it is time that the record be set straight about the intensity and hyper-manliness of pilates.

For those unaware of the history of pilates, the exercise was developed to keep veterans mentally and physically strong.

"...emphasizing control and form to aid injured soldiers in regaining their health by strengthening, stretching, and stabilizing key muscles."

That's right. Soldiers and veterans. No mention of yuppies or soccer moms.

A cursory glance at fitness/pilates DVDs provides a view to some Arian society, where all the members are slim, fit females. There are very few discs that have a man as the instructor. I'll blame Mari Winsor and Los Angeles for this travesty.

My interest in pilates began when I started going to physical therapy for a hip injury incurred while practicing for a dance show. I attempted to do a dip with my partner and my leg wasn't positioned properly. Subsequently, my leg moved in a way it wasn't supposed to move.

The therapist and orthopedic doctors said I injured my hip flexor muscle, so this wasn't a standard boo-boo. Among my recommended strengthening exercises, were some pilates movements to strengthen my legs and abs. I've never been one to exercise consistently. I'm a walker not a runner. After about a month of rehab I started to notice muscles in places previously characterized as nondescript. These muscles came at a price. Pilates isn't easy. It involves sweat and, for me, a reminder of how inflexible you are and how far your toes truly are. So, I continued to do pilates and the stretching exercises. I bought a Swiss exercise ball and began branching out in my fitness regime.

So, men, rise up. It is time we reclaim pilates as our own. Women, you can keep the tight-fitting aerobics wear, but your theft of our masculine exercise regimen is over.

Some Nights I Go CRAZY!

2008-06-18T20:31:00.001-05:00

Love,
Patrick

Twenty-somethings prefer drinking to learning. Quick! Give them something to drink!

2008-06-18T15:47:00.005-05:00

"IHS Journalism Conference , June 7-13 2008: Ahead of the curve since June 7-13 2008."

A guy who may or may not be Fazil's third-cousin on his mother's side talking about moral hazards and unforeseen consequences at The Washington Post.

Unforeseen consequences? You decide.

2008-06-18T14:04:00.003-05:00

We all came up with a few instances of government regulations and bills that just end up being bad ideas with unforeseen consequences that only make the situation worse. Here are a few current events, in brief, that may spur legislation. Blog about it--what might become of these?

-Requiring sunglasses to have UV protection
-Forcing railways to re-route hazardous material around residential areas rather than through them
-Baseball leagues banning maple bats, which can shatter and fly when they break, but have a bigger sweet spot than other wood bats
-School lunch monitors limiting the number of scoops of food children can put on their plates to offset the cost of food (No really! This is happening.)

I may add a few later, but we can start with these oddball situations.

Another unforeseen consequence? Dave Koz, while performing on alto and soprano sax at the Indianapolis JazzFest this past weekend, may have thought his pelvic thrusts and carefully rehearsed choreography would turn on every 40-something in the crowd. What he did not foresee, however, was a 20-something posting his ridiculousness on her blog for all her friends to laugh at. Nor did he foresee being compared to the love-child of Donnie Osmond and Kenny-G. Take a look.

The Other 10 Percent

2008-06-17T20:25:00.000-05:00

During an IHS lecture by Carolyn Lochhead of the San Francisco Chronicle, she mentioned how showing up is 90 percent of the battle of being a journalist. As I recall the other 10 is miscellaneous factors to being a good journalist. Inspired by this, I have decided to show up at area newsrooms ready to work.

The other 10 percent could be actually being permitted to work someplace. Nevertheless, I am resolute in my goal of employment. I wonder what sort of reaction I'd get by simply showing up. My theory is a quick refusal by security or the receptionist, but it certainly would show moxie.

I've also thought of going to local city hall and school board meetings to write briefs about what happened and submit them to the local papers. It would serve as a pencil sharpener for my writing skills and could be a foot in to a job.

Germ-o-phobe

2008-06-17T16:41:00.001-05:00

I'm no Adrian Monk, but I am a bit concerned whenever I travel. Inevitably, I get the sneezer/cougher next to me on the plane. I reluctantly did two things on this trip that I may regret.

My first quandary was whether or not to share my water jug. Seeing as it was wicked hot, I felt the germs could be killed and the greater good would be hydration for all (wasn't that one of the tenets of the musketeers?).

The second decision was whether or not to use the germ bag, also known as a pillow, on the plane. You might as well lick the gutter. I opted to use the germ bad, since my white man fro has yet to grow back. In its peak, it is like a built-in pillow.

Airplanes are glorified petri dishes with in-flight entertainment, pretzels and mini pops.

An Ode to Mario

2008-06-17T11:13:00.001-05:00

I found this video a few weeks ago. Little did I know I would use it for some real purpose.

We'll miss you Mario. You made econ understandable and enjoyable.

Kristy also showed me this video:

It's a Long, Long Way to Tipperary

2008-06-17T09:07:00.000-05:00

For some of us going home proved more difficult than anticipated. It was hard enough saying goodbye to the new friends and free beer. While promising to stay in touch as if it were some semblance of summer camp, travel woes exacerbated the pain. For me, it was clinical separation anxiety. It all started...as I said my farewells with Brian. You may have seen the now famous chest bump video, if not it is definitely Must See tv.

The trouble truly began with the chest bump and doing it a second time for Kristy and her camera. Brian and I were going to take the train to the airport with Jen from Seattle, but I wanted to say my buh-bye's and one thing led to another...Brian and I got to the train just as the train pulled up. There was a problem. Neither of us had any cash. So the train system that strands you downtown when it sprinkles, will also leave you out in the heat if you are without cash.

Here's where I may have changed the future. I never thought I had any supernatural powers, but this may be exhibit A. So, I missed the train. I called to see if my flight was on-time, which United told me was on schedule. At that moment, thinking it was possible for me to miss my flight, I thought please let my flight be a little delayed. Famous last words.

We took the next train and switched at 30th Street station. It was on the second train that I had a super gross-out moment. I had stashed some donuts, a half of an egg bagel and an apple in my carry-on for an in-flight snack. On the train, I popped a donut in my mouth. After a few bites, I glance down into my bag. Little ants crawling all over the place. I stopped chewing, reached for a napkin and promptly expelled all contents in my mouth into the napkin.

We arrived at the airport around 4 p.m. and I made it to my gate by 4:30. My flight was supposed to leave at 5:35.

It was delayed...and didn't leave until 10:30. Yeah airlines!!! In my mind, I saw this delay as a cinematic opportunity to say some dramatic farewells. That didn't happen.

If that wasn't bad enough, the real fun began when I landed in Chicago. I had to go into the city to meet up with my mom and sis at a hotel near Wrigley Field. That should be a 30 minute trip. I got my luggage, got on the L and was on my way. After two stops the train halted. There was construction on the track. So, I had to take a bus around the construction to get back aboard the train. I ended up taking a taxi from where the bus dumped me in Jefferson Park to Wrigley. I put my bags down at 1:30 a.m. local time. That's right friends, 10 hours of traveling using trains, trolleys, cabs, buses and don't forget the feet.

I would have rather spent time with my friends then sitting at the airport.

Feel free to share your travel woes. I have set the bar. Jump over the bar.