My Eyes

Will the lawsuits never end? Reuters reports that a woman is suing Victoria's Secret for damage to her eye allegedly caused by a metal clip that "flew off" the underroos whilst she put them on. Macrida Patterson was on the Today Show with her lawyer describing what happened.



I have a few issues with this story. First, I don't like seeing the words "52-year-old woman" and "thong" in the same sentence. Second, there's a reason you get underwear WITHOUT metal. I hope this doesn't lead to warning labels on underwear.

CAUTION: May cause blindness.

If I were Patterson I would have gone on the Today Show with an ultra sexy eye patch. She drove herself home from work after the incident, went to the hospital the following day and missed work due to the incident. She had to put some ointment in her eye.

The other day I had an eyelash in my eye that was excruciatingly painful, sadly there is no one I can sue over it.

Finally, I would like to file my lawsuit against whoever made Lycra and Spandex. While the material suits a very small percentage of people, the large majority aren't "fit" to wear it. Therefore, I allege mental anguish and retinal damage. I'll see you in court. ...Go on