Haikus for Online Love

Girls of match dot com:
Lascivious pics I sent,
Respond you did not.

I've winked. I've wooed. In the end I boohooed. Thirty emails have been sent, but only one response. The only interpretation is to take this personally. After a less than successful Valentine's night in Wrigleyville--the highlight being a young woman passing out while talking (more like slurring) to me, I swore off the bar scene and decided to try the online harem that is Match.

After being bombarded with emails that my love is waiting for me, I started a three day trial. I returned the favor to the "millions" of users on the site by sending snappy emails. The hours of day two are waning and I have not found my love nor an interested party. Viewing the profile and text boxes as chances to share who I am--I left out the part about living at home and only being on there for the trial--I've gone through three iterations of a bio. All riveting. All unique. None garnering admiration or beatnik snaps.

I've tried minimalism, humor and brutal honesty. Subsequently, I give up. I've always heard you find someone when you stop looking. After covert dating cessations, this break might be real.

Online love I sought
Unanswered prose in outbox
Back to junior high. ...Go on

Isn't She Beautiful

I remember learning about Greek mythology in 7th grade. That is how I vaguely remembered Aphrodite, when I saw a statue of her in The Great Hall at Bryn Mawr College. What was so stunning about Aphrodite (statue is apparently Athena), was not only her beauty, but the gifts, or offerings scattered around her.

I was confused at first; here I am in the hall, a wide open space in front of me, and in the corner I spotted a statue of a woman with bright gold painted eyes and lips. My curiosity encouraged me to seek out this woman. Soon I was no longer paying attention to the statue but the things around her. There were notes apologizing to Aphrodite, cards made in her honor, and two items that stood out more than the rest. At her feet rest the box of an ept pregnancy test and on her outstretched arm a black thong hanging for the world to see. While there were many more random items, those were the ones that stood out in my mind.

The ladies of Bryn Mawr must have a tradition with this statue of Aphrodite. I only wish I had captured it on film. ...Go on