Election Advice

The Onion, the beacon of truth, recently posted this video. I will utilize all tactics.


Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election ...Go on

Top Secret Gov't Plan Exposed

There is an explanation for the ever-surging gas prices in our country that the government doesn't want you to know.

I allege increased gas prices are part of the government's war on automobile deaths. Probably unintentionally, considering their past track record at social change, the government has reduced automobile fatalities by nearly a third between 1985 and 2006 through the increased price at the pump.

Our good friends at the Associated Press reported on a recent study analyzing gas prices and auto death fatalities. The finding: as gas prices go up, deaths go down. Conversely, they found that as gas prices go down, deaths go up.

That is what they call a negative correlation in the math world.

The article presents explanations from the researchers, Michael Morrisey of the University of Alabama at Birmingham and David Grabowski of Harvard Medical School, on what factors influence this change in deaths.

Pontifications? Issues with their argument? ...Go on

Huge misfire by Agence France Presse

You've all heard the story by now. The AFP distributed a doctored photo Wednesday depicting 4 missiles being fired in Iran. The image was propaganda from the Iran Revolutionary Guard, and the original image actually only depicted 3 missiles in the air and a grounded missile that may have failed. While this may not seem like a huge difference, the fact that no one caught the changes before the image was published on hundreds of websites is scary. How do you catch these doctored images, anyway? The other frightening part is that the propaganda engine that manipulated the image can read our photo editors' thoughts.

"[Ken] Lyons, of the Denver Post, said it is no consolation to him that many other papers – including local rival The Rocky Mountain News – also ran the four-missile photo.
'I take absolutely no comfort in that at all," he says. Lyons was also reflective about how much stronger the picture seems with the one extra missile. "The thing I've been asking myself all day is, Would we have run it if it were just the three?'"

(Excerpt taken from an article on PDN Online by Daryl Lang. See the full article here.)
...Go on

Just when I start working at a magazine...

I think I will soon invest in that website that teaches important web and design programs. Just when I start work at a magazine, the Publisher's Information Bureau releases a report saying that in the last quarter, magazine ads have fallen 8% on average. Some of the worst cases show magazines like Newsweek down as much as 34.9%. This leaves the industry down almost $0.4 billion dollars since last year. Check out the story.

http://www.foliomag.com/2008/magazine-ad-pages-fall-7-4-percent-first-half
...Go on

A Day At The Pool

The joys of unemployment and summer never cease. With a pal from university, I headed to the local water park for an afternoon of slides, ogling and luke warm agua. Leaving my Venice Beach lifeguard shirt at home, I had hopes of a possible Sandlot moment, where I'd be rescued by my very own Wendy Pfeffercorn.

It should be mentioned that my swimming ability is on par with that of the gorillas.

Side note if I may. So, as I was writing the above sentence I researched to find an animal that can't swim. Google led me to Yahoo! Answers. Beyond the numerous comedians, scroll down to Fallin' Angel's (apparently their wings are broken) post. I'm not sure why the person posted their message. Why would you go on Yahoo to promote Google? Do they work for Google? Are they trying to? Is Fallin' Angel a Google disciple, a goociple, if you will? That just sounds like a dessert no one wants.

-"I'm all out of ice cream. Can I interest you in a goociple?"
-"No. It's getting late. I should get going."

In no way does that assist the person. Why would you take the effort to post "check out Google"? Furthermore, Google LED me to Yahoo. The vicious circle continues.

I also learned, according to Betty, that kangaroos can't walk backwards. I'll have to verify if/when I go to Oz.

Back to the pool...with my protective triple coating of Ocean Potion to prevent additional burnage, Brian and I surveyed the park's offerings. There was a kiddy pool with barely enough water to dip in my big toe. But, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't drown in the 2 inches of water. We skipped that and headed for the slides.

There were four slides. Two for body luging and two for tubin'. The teal slide was a leisurely descent into the pool. The pink slide was deceptive. I usually equate pink with peaceful. This slide made me scream like a six- and 3/8 ths-year-old girl. An added benefit was the nasal colonic. This wasn't mentioned in the brochure, if it had there might have been a larger geriatric representation. I think water managed to blast all the way through my sinuses and to my brain.

The tube slides were fun and cushioned my ever sensitive bum from the re-entry.

Another enjoyable activity, in addition to people watching, was the Coral Corral. The ideal for laziness. Step one: sit in inner tube. Step two: let water push you around. That's it. It was pretty relaxing aside from the kids that thought of the lazy river as some sort of bumper tubes game. I decided that someday when I have excess money and a large estate, instead of a moat I'll install a lazy river thing. For when I want to move in the water without any physical effort.

It was a fun time, but the park could have used a regular pool for those interested in that sort of thing. I'm not saying I'm at the stage to be swimming laps but I'd like the option. ...Go on

Whoa, Black Betty!

Bam-a-lam! And you thought the song was controversial...wait till you see this. It has nothing to do with journalism, really, besides it possibly being an indicator of the direction our culture is taking. It does, however, involve something that (I should think) intrigues us all.


I saw an ad in the subway for this hair care product today. At first, I thought it was a shampoo that maintained your dye color. Then, as I walked along, I thought it was actually hair dye. Then, I read the catch phrase. "Color for the hair down there." No way? Yes...way.

Introducing Betty, the new pubic hair dye. It comes in blonde betty, black betty, brunette betty, auburn betty, a pink "fun betty," and an aqua blue "malibu betty." The blonde and malibu colors even come with free stencils, in case you want to paint a flower, butterfly, dolphin, or palm tree on your hoo-ha.

In the new movie, "Sex and the City," Miranda is gawked at by her lady friends when she is laying out in a bathing suit, exposing her overgrowth of "hair down there." Now we know she was just trying to show off how she can color her carpet to match the draperies.

If you think it distasteful to blog about the color of your "cha-cha," consider this--the Betty product line has won the indie beauty award as well as a cosmetic product innovator award. Apparently our baby boomers don't want any grays at all, and they're not shy about their excitement for this product. As for the younger generation...Paris, Li-Lo, and Britney, don't fight. There's enough pink dye out there for all of you.


...Go on

Collection

I'm also starting a New York travel fund. Don't worry about my pride, I'll take all donations excluding belly button lint. So, while you're earning that minimum wage being a goffer, think of the great times we could all have in the N-Y-C.

Chicago Magazine had this regarding begging in Chicago. I may soon be on their list. ...Go on

IHS Commune

Just a suggestion: anyone in favor of an IHS commune? We could work the land, setup our own newspaper (we could all be editors), live the good life. Perhaps we could hire a film crew under the guise of it being an internship and produce a reality show.

Thoughts? ...Go on

Drug Busts Gone Wild?

In 1996, the NYPD was ridiculed for going too far in busting head shops selling paraphernalia that could be considered legal. Click here to read the New York Times story.

That was then. This is now. This year's hot drug is Salvia, a relative of mint and sage that causes a powerful psychedelic experience. Despite its ability to deliver an experience as strong as LSD, salvia is legal. Why? Perhaps it is because its effects only last up to an hour or because it causes its user to become introspective rather than causing him to jump off a building in an attempt to fly. A more likely explanation, though, is that salvia's long-term effects are not yet known. There is currently no evidence that it is addictive, and in the hundreds of years Mexican indians have used the herb, no complications or harmful consequences have been reported. We currently do not know how exactly salvia works. It does not involve dopamine or other neurotransmitters researched so far.

The government is researching salvia to find out more, but I have to wonder if it is reasonable to ban salvia. It is not a party drug. People who attempt to use it as such do not buy it a second time. The "buzz" is short-lived, and the chances of anyone doing anything illegal under the influence is slim, considering users are nearly inanimate and stuck in their own dimension during the spell. I would argue that if a person wants a 10-minute artistic or philosophical experience in his or her own home, at no risk to others, it should not be the business of the government to regulate that. I mean, knowing as little about it as we do, who am I to tell Hank from the Village that he shouldn't get to see the world in 2-D? However, some states, including Missouri and Louisiana, have already discussed bills on banning the sale of salvia. I would argue this attention is not merited, and unless a real health risk is involved, the government should not even touch it. But enough about me. What do you think? Should the magic mint be prohibited?
...Go on

Reporter Source Resource

Hey guys. A colleague forwarded this site to me and although I haven't used it yet, it looks like a useful resource to add to our cache of 'ways to get sources.'

: http://www.helpareporter.com/press/

Its a newsletter where journalists can post requests looking for sources for their stories. Email "newsletters" go out several times daily to people who sign up to be potential sources.
The guy who acts as the filter does this completely on his own time for the good karma it produces, and the site generally seems like a positive resource for finding people to interview or to flesh out a story.

Another similar site, but with more history and establishment behind it, is:

www.profnet.org

Post a little blurb explaining your story and your source needs, and hopefully get a response from an academic or business person who is an expert on that subject!


Just thought these might be useful...
... in other news, there were U.S. Navy sailors in full white uniform walking around Philly for the Fourth of July weekend bc their ship docked so tourists can see the inside of a working ship.
I didn't get a look at the ship, but like most other summer Philadelphians, I was fortunate to get a peek at apple-cheeked young men in uniform.

Some guys saluted them. Some girls giggled and took pictures with them. I asked them for an unofficial interview. ... go figure. ...Go on